Whenever I feel most overwhelmed in life, I know the best source is to go to God. In prayer, in song, and in His word. The biggest problem, however, is my tendency to go to everything but those things and look for it elsewhere. Where do I go when I’m looking for rest as a weary mother?… the spa, vacation, golf, writing, reading, basically anything that can get me “alone” time. A time for someone to pamper me, someone to take care of me for a change.
Now enjoying those things are good. We should enjoy them. I love a good vacation (sans kids) however a weary mother’s soul only finds temporal rest in those things. Take shopping for example, it feels great to get out, buy something you want, but when that rush is over, you are left wanting it again. The same goes for the weary mother. We get our vacation, our “ME” time, and then we are left wanting it again. And if we are not careful, it becomes the thing that we desire most. We are always, ALWAYS, looking for it. We dream about it, we constantly crave it, and if we don’t get it we become despondent. We get cranky and we whine. We find other things to fill small gaps until we can get it, and if we don’t get it, we cry out desperately, wondering… why isn’t God helping me? It eventually teaches us to think that God isn’t going to help us with these small needs and therefore it needs to be filled by us ourselves, which includes getting that “me” time even more.
It’s a horrible cycle. I know, I’ve done it. However, after having Five kids, I’ve learned some truths the hard way. That God is really ALL that you could ever need for anything. It’s a simple concept really. I mean, we say it all the time. But do we really believe it? The reality of my constant whining of my need for relief from day to day mother weariness is usually bound up in my inability to be content. Another Godly principle that we all know (but if we are being honest, most of us DO NOT follow.) The ability to be content in whichever circumstance we are in. Even the one where we don’t get “me” time.
It is with contentment, I have learned to find more happiness and joy… I still love vacations and playing golf separate from the weary duties of being a mom, but I also don’t feel as upset about not getting to have them when plans change… as they ALWAYS do. It just teaches me to be even more happy, when I do get the chance. Thank You, Lord for your blessing that is You.
“I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?”. –CS Lewis.