I am an intelligent, self-sufficient and capable woman. I am educated, talented and have been blessed by God in many hard working and intellectual ways. So, how am I content to just be a stay at home mom?
This isn’t an easy blog post to write, as the only way to attempt to answer it, I would have to write a few books. (The reality is, I am not JUST a stay at home mom, however, that’s another blog post for another day.) I think most women struggle in today’s day and age to reconcile the two. How do we show and prove our ability to the world, that we are strong and capable, yet also provide the loving care our families deserve?
Not every woman wants to stay at home, and I understand that, as that is an exact description of myself. A woman who never wanted to be a stay at home-homeschooling-mom. I enjoyed working, didn’t consider myself “great” with children and hated being stuck at home. I was taught that intelligent women have an obligation to the world, to not be selfish and become something that will benefit the world. However, it is also with that type of thinking that I learned the best benefit I could ever possibly give to the world, is to raise my children in admonition of the Lord.
When I come to reconcile my relationship with God and the abilities He has given me, I realize that God didn’t give so that I could call out what I want to be, but that He gave so that I could become all He willed for me. My faith in God is subjected to my Bible. If I truly love the Lord, I will read my bible. If I read my bible I will come to know, a little better, God’s will. When I, as a Christian, say I have faith, it is not faith that God MIGHT exist, I KNOW he does. The faith comes in at my attempt to understand Gods will in my life, as I cannot profess to know the entire mind of God.
However, If I trust my Bible, I will trust God when He tells me what is best for me. Thus, I must have faith in what He tells me. God’s word doesn’t clearly command “Thou shalt stay at home and only be a housewife”. That’s not where I’m going with this. But God’s word tells me many other things. God’s word tells me that I am not to seek man’s approval (or woman’s). I am to work as if on to the Lord and that doesn’t just mean…work hard. That means as if He is my master and I am working for Him. Paul called himself a bondservant of Christ. Willfully choosing to serve He who is greater than I. That is the life of a Christian. To make the choice daily of who we are going to serve. Christ or ourselves.
I have come to understand that my talents and abilities are given to me as a blessing. My obedience to God, however, is what He seeks most outside of relationship. Not the “things” I accomplish for him. Obedience to God is what keeps me daily choosing to raise my kids. It is what keeps my feet grounded. I understand now, as I am a little bit older, that God knows FULL well what I am capable of, therefore, I have Nothing to prove. After all, He is the one who gives and takes. But I also know that God will not call me to something that will keep me incapable of the first calling He gave me. If I married my husband, I am a wife. If God blessed me with children, I am a mother. God has “called” me to those places, and He will not call me to something that leaves me incapable of taking proper care of that first calling. If I am pulled in a direction that takes me away from fulfilling that calling, then I am in the wrong. I must remember that God doesn’t NEED me to do things for Him. He wants me to be obedient.
Today’s Christianity doesn’t come close to preaching that. It will, in fact, make a woman believe that she is sooo special, that she must do GREAT things in order to be in the will of God. I believe this is taken in a way that ends in false teaching. That doesn’t mean, women can’t do anything or that its ok to do nothing, however, when your family is falling apart, you are no longer fulfilling your calling. Even if you think you are doing God’s work. For example: A pastor, according to our bible, is expected to step back from pastoring to care for his family if his family is falling apart. If his family falls apart, he is then, no longer qualified to be a pastor. There is a reason for this, as God cares more about the pastor’s family unit falling apart, than He does of a pastor fulfilling his position. That doesn’t mean God doesn’t care about the pastoral calling, however, how can a man shepherd more sheep if he can’t shepherd his own family. This is what obedience vs “doing things for God” is. And family is extremely important to God.
This belief, however, does not equate in ANY way that a woman is unintelligent or incapable of anything outside the home. The reality, if women are truly paying attention, is that WOMEN were given the GREATEST, MOST IMPORTANT job already, BY GOD! He Himself, chose a woman to bear children. To nurture them, to teach them. Women, don’t take that so lightly. It is the greatest honor God could give, as those babies, those children are what HE LOVES! There is no dishonor in that. Who cares if a man or the rest of the world thinks me incapable, or stupid because I don’t run a company that brings in loads of money. Or if I can rub elbows with the “important people”. (I have, however, helped my husband run a successful business, that He would say would have been impossible without my intelligence and help- in addition to running a home and family. All of which wouldn’t have been possible if I was out seeking my own satisfaction and success.)
When I trust in God, I know that God’s blessings look and feel like nothing I ever expected it to be. When I trust His word, I find that nothing goes the way I want it to. When I am obedient, it is harder than I ever imagined it to be. So much so, that I find myself constantly questioning if I’m wrong about it. But I’ve found, that even if I think I’m wrong or maybe the world tickles my ears with pleasantness, if I just trust and have faith in what God’s word says about the matter, it always turns out better than I ever imagined.
True earnestness is found in obeying God, not in the inclination to serve Him that is born of undisiplined human nature. It is inconceivable, but true neverless, that saints are not bringing every project into captivity, but are doing work for God at the instigation of their own human nature which has not been spiritualized by determined discipline.” -Oswald Chambers